Staring at an empty chair: The Empty Nest Syndrome……

Empty Nest Syndrome” is the time of change following the leaving of your last child from the family home, whether for college, marriage, or a job in a different town. For many parents, this time of change can be upsetting. The effort of adjusting to your shifting role as a parent can lead to feelings of melancholy, lonesomeness, and diminished tenacity in life.

Some people are able to waft through the empty nest transition. After the early regulation, they find that they love their new lives and relish having more free time. Others count the days until their children coming back home for a holiday break, and then spend the day after they leave mourning and grieving for them all over again. The course of letting go of our children differs from person to person—and sometimes is diverse as each child leaves home.

There are two wonderful stories in the Bible about men who had to leave their homes and families. The stories of Jacob and Joseph tell of extended periods during which they were far away from home and out of contact with their families. Times were very different then. No telephones and no emails and slow and ineffective communication meant no postal services and no means of getting any news about the other. If a person moved, it could be years before anyone knew where he or she finally settled. Families lost members all too often. Jacob was forced to leave due to his own act of trickery towards his brother and duplicity towards his father. He must have suffered within himself all the years he was away. He faced the danger of his brother Esau’s wrath by returning to the land of his father Isaac. We do not know if God was reminding Jacob of the pain he caused his own father Isaac when God allowed Joseph to vanish for many years. Jacob was heartbroken and God did not whisper one word of encouragement to him. The story that unfolds is one that brings tears to the eyes of parents who have children living a long way from home.

Many factors have changed about the way our world looks today.  Jobs in faraway places call out to the young into jobs that often take them far away. Educational opportunities in foreign lands and distant universities are appealing. Parents who are growing old and who ought to be enjoying the fruits of their labors are left to wonder if their children are well, seeing their grandchildren only on rare occasions and for short periods of time. The grandparents often have little influence on the grandchildren, and visits to their children’s homes can be tense. Only parents who have experienced the empty nest will truly understand.

A verse in Proverbs is a great verse to live by: “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” In short, the best way to be ready to let go of our kids is to prepare them to live responsible, Godly lives–on their own.

Figuring out the Prosperity Gospel

There’s a dangerous but popular current theology flitting around these days that says prosperity and financial success is a direct result of one’s faith. It has been around for a while but now it is projected so subtly that one can get sucked into it, quietly. Followers of this prosperity gospel say Jesus was a rich man, and so were his disciples. So these people say that following Jesus leads to financial success. If your faith is good and true, you will be blessed with health, wealth, and happiness. But what of the recession you wonder? Yes, such blessings apply even in these tough financial times. A brochure from a prosperity gospel seminar claimed: “Regardless of the media reports, believers are not subject to the recession.”  What really bothers me is what the theology says about faith. It’s so dangerous–and completely unsubstantiated by scripture–to tie one’s financial success to one’s faith. But that’s what prosperity gospel preachers preach.

When we are introduced to Abraham and Sarah in Genesis chapter 12, God’s blessing is not dependent on Abraham’s faith. God’s promise to Abraham is simple: “Go from your country…and I will make of you a great nation” not so that they might be blessed with riches, but so that they will be “be a blessing” to others (Gen 12:1-2). But even after the Lord’s declaration, life remains a struggle for Abraham and Sarah.

Some of us want to leave our faith unexamined. We know a strong faith doesn’t lead to material prosperity, but beyond that things get murky and uncomfortable. But maybe faith isn’t about strength or weakness. Maybe faith shouldn’t be measured in strong or weak, good or bad, but in understanding, in examination. Maybe it’s the process of wrestling with faith that’s key, not whether one has it all figured out.

St. Augustine famously wrote of “faith seeking understanding.” Augustine knew there are no big lines separating faith and understanding, but that faith and understanding are part and parcel of the same thing. Knowledge and understanding occurs with faith, but faith also comes with understanding. Faith doesn’t come with an end point, but it’s a process that always on-going. A river always flowing towards our Lord.

Being Just

                             

Imagine that you have a friend or a family member who is caught in an addictive behavior. Maybe they are addicted to drugs, or alcohol, or sex, or are cheating on their spouse, or are spiraling into credit card debt. Whatever it is, think seriously about that person right now. If that person continues doing what they are currently doing, do you think you can predict the outcome? Most likely. Addiction almost always ends in some form of self-destruction.

Now, what would you say to that person if you were given the chance to tell them the whole truth, without any fear on your part? You would probably tell them three things. First, you would remind them that they are a special person, they are loved, and they are worthy of a better life than what they currently experience. Second, you would tell them about the consequences they will face–the immanent destruction–that will happen if they continue on the path they are on. Third, you will remind them that there is always a way out. There is always grace and a second, or third, or fourth chance.

That is exactly what a prophet was sent to do. A prophet was sent by God to deliver a message like that. God’s people were continually getting caught up in destructive patterns that would lead them into dangerous consequences. The prophets were sent to remind them who they were–God’s chosen people–warn them apart the devastating consequences of their behavior, and offer them a message of hope if they would only repent.

Most people think of justice as “getting what is deserved.” This usually has the sense of criminals getting punished. Isn’t that what we think of when we hear the term Justice System? We all want justice when someone hurts us. Don’t we? But I wonder if that is the full picture of justice, or what God really means when he says, “let justice roll down like a mighty water.”

The real answer to the Justice question is found in Amos. It doesn’t get any clearer or more uncomfortable for us. God’s idea of justice is the proper treatment of the poor and the needy. He’s not talking about rich people in rich churches giving handouts to poor people. He is speaking to the justice system of the Kingdom. He’s talking politics. He’s telling them that a system that works to keep the poor, poor, and allows the rich and powerful to become more rich and powerful, at the expense of the poor, is an unjust and unrighteous system.

When the church supports a system like that, or quietly stands aside and lets a system like that happen without standing up against it, then the worship services become meaningless and God hates it. Jesus challenges us with his response to the lawyer’s question of ‘who is my neighbour’ by telling the parable of the Good Samaritan (Lk. 10:25-37). In our globalised industrial age the entire human population has become our economic neighbour and yet remains largely a relational stranger.  How do we then respond?